So you want to know who I am. Why? Hm? Who do you represent anyway? I'll have you know that I have friends in high places. Yes sir, very high places, so there'll be no mucking about here with you poking into my personal affairs, and my tax records are strictly off limits, even if you are from the Canada Revenue Agency!

I mean, let's think about this. Here you are, having blithely clicked on "About," expecting to see what, exactly? Sordid stories about naked goings on with Labrador puppies at Christmastime? Look at that picture. Do I look like I play with Labrador puppies? Hm? Well, I can assure you I don't, regardless of what you might have heard.

All you need to know is that I'm a Canadian and I'm a writer, which put together means that I'm poor and prone to putting Us next to my Os in ways that will either infuriate or confuse Americans...and that there is a broken Sea King in my backyard, but that's another story.