Sure, March is National Nutrition Month, and while I bet you've read all about it and know what you have to do to turn your life around, get fit, and live healthy, it's one thing to know it, and quite another to do it. Well, let me tell you that you're not alone. I myself was much like you: flabby, pale, little energy and a waistline that stretched for miles. But I took charge of my health, and today I'm friskier than a three-month-old kitten and my colon could crush an elephant if given half a chance.

The secret? Beer, and lots of it.

It's a little known fact, but nonetheless a staple for body builders and fitness trainers in the know, that beer is the key ingredient in any healthy lifestyle. Just in basic nutrition alone, beer possesses a cornucopia of vitamins and minerals, including all your necessary B vitamins as well as heart-healthy potassium. Rich in fibre, a litre of beer provides one fifth of your daily requirement, helping digestion and making for a hale and hearty intestine.

Needless to say, it's obvious how much beer you need to consume each and every day...after all, this is your health we're talking about, and this is no time to be sparing.

Of course, five litres of beer (about 15 standard bottles, or a good night at the pub) is only the minimum requirement for attaining a balanced diet. Full of anti-oxidants and completely devoid of cholesterol and fat (especially those nasty trans fats), beer is the magic elixir that can accompany any meal, or preferably replace it entirely once your beer training regimen is in full swing.

And don't worry about that waistline, my budding health fanatic, because by volume, beer packs fewer calories than apple juice, milk or yoghurt, and who wouldn't want a cold beer over those choices in the morning?

But beer isn't just a compact and easily digested source of balanced nutrition; it's an activity as well. Yes, as much as it would be nice that this wonder nutrient should pour from your tap like water (though lobbying efforts are underway; stay tuned), one must get active to have beer, and daily exertion is an essential part of any healthy routine.

I started small with my beer-gathering workout, and so should you, because the worst thing you can do is get discouraged by pushing yourself too hard early on. Start by getting up and going to the fridge. With luck, there will be a nice cold lager or stout waiting to reward you for your efforts, but if not, don't despair, and more importantly, don't leave the house just yet to go to the beer store. That's an advanced workout for veterans, Mr. Budweiser; you'll get there soon, don't worry.

No, to start, call on a friend to pick up a six-pack or two so you can get used to the feel and effort of lifting those bottles of dietary wonderment; two or three reps with each pack should suffice in the first week, perhaps a few more thereafter. But don't push and remember: you'll be getting plenty of calorie-burning exertion making trips to the fridge and hefting that daily dose of health. Just be sure to alternate arms for a balanced workout.

Needless to say, once beer becomes a part of your daily regimen, you'll need quite a bit of it, and you'll be amazed at how swiftly and easily you graduate from 12-pack to two-four, sometimes making two or three trips a day to the beer store. Some will move on to conquer what many consider the Mount Everest of beer training, namely the 50-litre keg, but this is really something only the elite of beer trainers ever achieve through a combination of good genetics and disciplined exercise. And while we can all admire and applaud their efforts, the important thing for the rest of us is to be proud of our own.

With a little effort and time, I can assure you that, like me, embracing the beer lifestyle will pay dividends that you could never imagine. Nutritious, delicious, and always ready to give you that healthy boost any time of day, beer and beer training are your keys to the wellness and the physical fitness your body deserves.

So drink up, stay fit, and be sure to check out my latest book, Vodka, Cigarettes, and other Natural Source Remedies, now on sale in remainder bins everywhere.