We're Still Waiting

Having spent the better part of June bleating like scared sheep in a storm that the sky was about to plummet and squash all that is good and dear in this land, you'd expect our newly minted MPs to be busy figuring out the ways and means to sort out those upsetting national issues that seemed to be causing them such personal distress. But anyone who has chanced a look at Parliament Hill of late could be excused for thinking they missed a turnoff somewhere and ended up at the front doors of a particularly serene monastery, with happy people posing for happy pictures, not an ounce of urgency in anyone's step, or a care in anyone's mind, save for certain logistical problems involving tee times and luncheon dates.

What happened to emergency room wait times, child care, urban renewal, and integrity in Government? This election was supposed to be a wake-up call, not a mandate to go play hooky for the summer.

For when last we heard from Paul "let me tell you" Martin, Canada was not only going to lead the way with its new, improved dedication to health care, but children would finally be able to stay somewhere other than in a packing crate while their parents were away at work. Pothole riddled roads, antiquated sewers, and an urban transit system held together by bailing wire and duct tape would all magically renew themselves. And given the frantic nature of Canada's one man promise machine, we could have expected personal MRIs in every home, if the coffee hadn't run out and our intrepid Prime Minister nodded off.

But with images of hospital emergency wards resembling an over-taxed MASH unit dancing in the collective electorate's head, we now hear that Paul can't get around to meeting with the premiers until September, the House won't be sitting until sometime in the fall, and what with the average lifespan of a minority government being only slightly longer than that of the common house fly, it's a fairly safe bet that you can pencil in your bypass surgery for two years after your own funeral.

So what has the Canuck Crusader been up to with his fresh new gift of governance? Well, let's see...he appointed a new cabinet, which spent last week having their pictures taken while Aunt Martha caught a few winks in a hospital hallway waiting for a room. And you will be happy to hear that a five-time Vezina trophy and six-time Stanley cup winner is now in charge of juggling the child care portfolio, until he can pass it off to someone else to ignore for another decade or so. And there's word that the crater at the foot of your driveway should be filled in any time now, though maybe not. These things take time, and it is cottage season after all.

What's the saying? No time like the present?

Now, if only Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition was busy keeping Paul and his mighty minions honest, then this all-so-imperative national agenda we were scared witless into voting for might be moving along at something faster than the pace of a sedated snail. You remember them, don't you? Stephen Harper? Unite the Right? Those really passionate people eager to fix all the corruption, waste, and moral misdirection that had taken hold of our great country? These were the folks who were practically in tears over what might happen to our children at the hands of pedophiles, those monsters lurking under every child's bed, around every corner, and in every playground.

Geez, with something that important, you'd think they'd be pounding on every cabinet minister's door demanding action, planning protests, and generally raising political hell.

Wouldn't you?

Not this summer. You see, Mr. Harper needed to take some time off to think about his future, appoint a shadow cabinet that lives up to the name all too well, and give the rest of his party time to pick lint out of their navels and wonder why they aren't having lobster boils at 24 Sussex.

But perhaps child molesters take the summer off too.

And as always, there's Jack Layton, who at last report is still playing with his palm pilot while trying to figure out how to become the first Party leader in Canadian history to telecommute. Apparently the NDP were concerned about the homeless, but that, too, will have to wait.

Makes you wonder what all the fuss was about.