Home Economics

Sheila Martin took a deep breath and composed herself. It was time to let Paul know where things stood, or at least the way the wind was blowing, which at that moment was between the cracks in the kitchen wall.

"Paul, we need to have a talk...we have a problem."

"What, honey? Are we out of coffee?"

"Cripes, Paul! No, we are not out of coffee."

"Oh good, I was getting worried there...speaking of which, could you put a pot on? Now, where did I put my suitcase?"

"Paul, listen to me. This house is a dump, and you promised me last spring that we'd have the place renovated right after the election."

"I did? Really?"

"Yes, really. And now we have the President coming next week and not a thing's been done around here, Paul...this place is as drafty as bloody wind tunnel."

"Actually, I'm not sure he'll being dropping by, Sheila. It's a working visit, after all, and well...."

"Well what?"

"He's worried he might catch a cold."

"Ah!"

"Look, honey, we can't afford to fix things up right now. If there was room in the budget, I'd be happy to, but...."

"What do you mean? You've got a nine-billion-dollar surplus this year, Paul! How in God's name can you say there isn't enough money?"

"Sheila, you know the government has a lot of debts to pay, and fixing up the official residence is just not a priority right now."

"But you promised!"

"Jeez, Sheila, I promised a lot of things, but I just can't go around keeping promises when there's debt reduction to be done...we have to pay the piper sometime."

"What's a couple of million, Paul? The walls around here are about as porous as Swiss cheese...a bit like those damn subs you insisted on buying, actually."

"Hey! That's a low blow. You know that wasn't my call."

"You were finance minister!"

"That doesn't mean I knew what everyone was doing with the money...now let's calm down and have some coffee. What's this?"

"Oh, just some messages from earlier...a few of your first minister buddies dropped by."

"What? Why?"

"Well, funny you should ask that, darling. They said something about being promised money that you say you don't have. Sound familiar, dear?"

"Very amusing, Sheila."

"I thought so. Let's see, there was Dalton, and Jean, John and Bernard...oh, and that funny little Newfie character, what's his name?"

"Danny Williams, dear, and don't call him a Newfie, it's rude."

"Sorry, though if you heard what he called you, I think you might rethink that...anyway, there was quite a little demonstration. Oh, and Stephen was by offering help with the budget forecasting, if you need it."

"I think I can handle it, thank you."

"He didn't seem to think so."

"Alright, Sheila, that's enough! How many times did you say you were proud of the way I got this country's financial house in order, hm? You kept saying 'stick to your guns, Paul. Don't let them sidetrack you, Paul.' I got this country back on its fiscal feet with you applauding me every step of the way, and now all you want is money, money, money!"

"Paul, the roof leaks."

"I don't care if the damn thing comes crashing down on our heads, we're paying our debts first, and that's final! This house is more than just a house, my dear. It's symbolic. How we deal with this speaks to the nation, and I for one intend to set an example."

"By letting the roof cave in?"

"No. By paying off our debts!"

"I'm cold, Paul."

"And so am I, Sheila, trust me...why do you think I booked all these trips? Because I like Haiti? Please. But listen, Sheila, I hear you, okay? After the next election there will be more than enough time and money to fix things up. No really. I mean it. Look, we'll draw up a blueprint for the next decade. It won't just be a renovation, but a true vision for the future! Honest, Sheila, I mean it. I mean, wow, I have so many ideas already spinning in my head! It will be everything we always dreamed...what?"

"Paul?"

"I'm on the couch, again, aren't I?"

"Yes, Paul...sweet dreams."