Now that's what I call luck, mate; nothing but horseshoes and four-leaf clovers in my estimation. Big wave comes in, and as quick as you can say "charge card" you got folks opening up their wallets and sending cheques. Mass media is what it is, though I can't help but wonder if something else is up, you know? I've been filmed a thousand times, and I never had anyone come around giving me drugs and fresh water.

Hey, relax. I won't bite. Sit down a spell...this here curb is a lot more comfortable than it looks.

You know I've been working this corner for almost twenty years? Yes sir, they know me by name in these parts, and I tell you, there's no better place to entertain yourself than outside the UN building. Them's some posh clothes those people wear, I tell ya, and you should see the cars them folks show up in. Man, I don't think I ever even got the chance to wash ones like that, never mind getting to drive in one.

Those folks know how to live, is what I'm saying.

But givin's another matter entirely. Oh sure, they talk a lot about it, but you hear things sitting out here in the cold, and between you and me, most of those folks is more interested in filling their pocket books than opening them up. Oh sure, they'll toss you the odd quarter, and a buck or two at Christmas, but man, I have to gets myself looking pretty damn pathetic before I can even collect enough for so much as a cup of coffee, ya know?

Oh, but someone goes and gets their feet wet, and you just watch them boys and girls scurry! Ha, they been looking like a bunch of ants in a grass fire these last couple of weeks. But, you mark my words fella: all talk is what it is. Talk talk talk.

Yeah, I know what they say in the papers, but they said that about that little earthquake in Iran too, and have they actually seen any of those generous donations yet? Ha, I bet you I got more in this hat than they got in that there city of Blam. Or is it Bam? Hell, bet you ten bucks you can't even find it on a map, so don't be given me any lip for not knowing the damn name.

Didn't think so...no one ever takes that bet.

What do you mean "what about AIDS"? Ha, you'd have better luck getting a bloody Aspirin than any antiviral drugs for them folks, and I know, because most of their damn ambassadors walk by here grumbling about it, though they looks a lot more healthy than those pictures I seen of those sick folks back in Africa, that's for sure. Now, if you got yourself a nice big wave to wash over the place, maybe they might pay attention, but I seriously doubt it.

Not to put too fine a point on it, pal, but let's just say those folks are a little too tanned for their own good and leave it at that, okay?

And I'll bet you another ten them folks just rolled their eyes when they saw the news, because I know I sure did. "Sorry pal, already gave my money to charity" is what they're saying now. Cheap buggers give for the first time in their lives and then pat themselves on the back for a job well done, but what the hell am I going to do now? Biggest wave I ever saw around here was when the sewer backed up and flooded the street, and you didn't see any money falling from the sky when that happened.

Well, sure, it was nasty over there, but let me ask you this: did you help them folks down in Haiti last fall? Bet you're all tapped-out to help them now too, eh?

Oh, don't go getting all quiet and embarrassed on me, chum. Human nature is what it is. I see it all the time. Hell, few years back some guy freezes to death on a park bench, gets his ugly mug in the paper, and for a whole week and a half people come around and give me money and blankets, and enough coffee to drown a bloody horse, too.

Then, nothing. And I don't need to tell you I didn't get myself here on this street corner because I manage money well, now do I? That was some lean time after that, but that's not what folks read in the papers, now is it?

So if you gots a little to spare, I'll be glad to take it, friend, and don't feel bad if ya don't have it next time you're by. Like I say, it's human nature is what it is.

'Course, don't feel too proud about it none, either. Ya hear what I'm saying?